"Look away Eurosceptics. Those meddling Brussels bureaucrats have let you down again and are not going to ban the sale of eggs by the dozen.
"To the disappointment of red-top newspapers and irate contributors to talk radio, the European Union confirmed yesterday that MEPs had not voted to do away with a cherished feature of Great British life.
"In an emergency statement, the European Parliament said: "Selling eggs by the dozen will not be illegal under the terms of the amendments adopted to EU food labelling proposals. Labels will still be able to indicate the number of items in a pack - whether it's eggs, bread rolls or fish fingers.""